* They said what about my LEG!!**
Dec 12, 2018
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6FWP62J5xi4

[Music]
like ya know break your ears anyhoo look
at this I have been digging out that
thing I am naughty look at my shirt it
says happy I got this shirt from Tori I
am so excited you guys it is a pullover
hoodie I have four probably I'm gonna
say probably close to three to four
years I have been looking for a hoodie
that fits me and you know it comfortably
and I just haven't found one like there
either way too short too tight too bulky
in my neck like just multiple reasons
which okay granted mostly two because
thanks to because you know I've been
archer so it's been hard
anyways so on Cyber Monday thanks to you
guys for telling me what that was I
jumped on toward because I had had some
emails but I didn't know what you know
cyber monday was so I got on a morning
and was checking it out and the sweater
was originally fifty I think it was
originally fifty and I got it for 24
yeah and then I got two pairs of cropped
leggings which I loved the cropped
because I so I have regular leggings
that go down my ankles but sometimes I
just get really really warm and you know
having a little bit of shorter
leggings not capris but just cropped
leggings being there a little bit above
the ankle but way like in like almost in
the middle of your calf I guess is how
you would say it so I got two pairs of
those and this for less than what I
would have purchased just this sweater
alone so that was a really good deal and
so anyways I was able to get that and I
came in the mail yesterday I was so
excited so I tried it on I was like yes
so I will have to show you guys what it
looks like in full but I have it if you
notice I have not been doing body
pictures and that's because I have a
little something I'm putting together
for you guys for January first so I'm
not sure you can put like full on body
pictures right now so what I will do is
I will just take a picture of the shirt
or I'll just put one in from the
you see you guys can see what
being about I am on my way to meet
somebody really quick they won on the
option site one of my cell phone holders
so anyways I said that they stop by
between 1231 but would be my appointment
so anyways what was I gonna say so yeah
so I'm meeting her lady really quick so
she can pick that up and I got an
account sleeve and then all he has an
appointment this afternoon so I'm pretty
sure I'm just gonna be staying home with
the baby it's cuz they only have one car
right now all the other ones are so
anyways I got a call from the doctor's
update on my MRI and she the nurse said
that my doctor seemed wrong but author
Olaf the Rytas arthritis osteoarthritis
I think something in those manners and
fluid on my me so I was like okay what
do we do about it
like I mean all right those are the
answers but what are we gonna what's
what's the future plan for this you know
and she's like well you know I mean we
already did one referral to the
orthopedic and it was didn't your
insurance so I mean we can try it again
and I'm like okay well what are they
gonna do for me and she's like well they
can do injections on the need to help
with pain and stuff like that I was like
okay I was like well now what is the
bump on the back of my leg like what's
that bulge she's like well I'm assuming
that some of it's probably fluid okay
but they did not see a baker cyst or a
tumor in that lump and I'm like okay so
what do we do about all this like that's
what I'm wanting to know like what are
we supposed to do about this bulge and
the pain like okay greatly and she's
like well the doctors like if you know
it's still causing you pain which it is
that's why I'm still proceeding to
continue to do things to figure out what
is going on she's like we can go ahead
and I was like okay well yeah I clearly
want to do that because you know I mean
it still is hurting and the thing is
that's so frustrating and you know when
I was having such a good morning and it
kind of put me in a little bit of like a
funk because it's like you know I'm
working so hard at getting myself
physically healthy and mentally healthy
and all this the ways that I can get
healthy
but when there's a physical a physical
part of you that is holding you back
from eating you know goals that you want
to meet it's very very frustrating and
for me especially I am getting
frustrated because it's like you know
here I can do an exercise but then I
will pay for it for the next two to
three days I will be in so much pain
with my knee that I will hardly be able
to walk you guys and that's one of the
reasons I haven't been doing exercise
and I know you guys understand and I
know that I have been completely honest
with you guys and I want to be
transparent with you guys and let you
know you know what is going on and why
you know I why I haven't been physically
active as much is because when I am you
know then I pay for it for a couple of
days afterwards with my knee like trying
to get up I will put so much pain like I
literally feel like I am you know I feel
like joint is my joint I feel like you
know that bulge like at times when I
stand up and I just stretch my leg out
you know in a solid stretch I feel like
literally the back of my knee is going
to rip in half inside my bones and stuff
and so it's just so frustrating to me
that it's like here I'm trying so hard
and I want to meet these goals and I
know that you know with diet yes you can
lose weight but I think the most
frustrating aspect is that it also is
gonna catch up to me at some point and
make me not
are not making me make my body not want
to lose wakes it's gonna start holding
on to it because I used to be on a diet
of different foods but at the same time
my body needs to be able to move and
exercise and so it's very very very very
frustrating when I'm not being able to
do that so I don't know I'm a little bit
frustrated but it is what it is like I
so anyways let me Texas sleep what can
easy um so anyways I just wanted to give
you guys a heads up on what I found out
today about that so I don't know all he
just said that we will just take a step
by step and you know we'll wait I have
an appointment with my physician at the
end of January I think I think it's
January so by then I'm gonna talk to
them and just tell them like is there
any way that you can drain the fluid on
the back of my leg is there a way that
we can get it drained I mean like it's
just embarrassing you know god I have
this thing on the back of my leg that
you can clearly see through my pants and
I'm not gonna wear skirts and dresses
for the rest of my life to hide this
bulge because I will end up cutting it
off myself
not really don't think it hasn't tempted
me so I don't know I just
is that just way wait until January and
we'll talk to my doctor and then we will
go from there I mean it's clearly
something that needs to be taken care of
and handled at some given point so
doctors and appointments today I woke up
and it is so like like windy stormy it's
not raining it was raining earlier but
not bad it was just raining a little bit
but it was like stormy windy everything
is like blowing over cuz we're not we're
not set up for wind storms I didn't even
know we were actually gonna have a
windstorm but I mean the winds were
pretty pretty massive so I don't know
what they are right now I guess the news
will tell us but we took my to school
and I was like we will pick you up but
because I don't need you to blow away my
little my little man
so anyways now I am on my way to
counseling and then from there I will go
and my get away home Red Bull yeah get
Olli a Red Bull in Dan after
I will go home and be with the babies
while he goes and does his thing that he
needs to do and I think we're just
staying home the rest of the evening
because why guys it is dirty nasty and I
really don't want to take the kids out
if I don't have to because it's is like
we're at that point where I'm really
trying to keep the kids from getting
sick but clearly I have not done the
best job because all of my kids are sick
with something so just keeping them
inside boom the best uh Korean but I was
so excited when I got this sweater and I
fit just like yes yes yes yes yes so
exciting moments for me anyways I'm
gonna stay here for a few seconds and
catch up on a few things and then I am
gonna head off to counseling okay Duke
you guys okay I am just getting out of
counseling
HUS guys are like black I am now headed
to Co get Ali a red bowl and run home
because he is going to be meeting
somebody meeting somebody for a car deal
I am gonna do this quickly but
counselling went really good
it was just a lot of open chit chat
today talking about you know just my
journey of weight loss where I not with
that and you know just
still learning that advocating for me
about myself is the best thing that I
can do talking about like my lake you
know and advocating for me with the
doctor's office to say hey you know this
situation with whaling is just not gonna
fly like we need to figure this out one
way or another it needs to be taken care
of you know I'm not accepting oh well
you know let me know if it keeps hurting
because clearly it's still hurting
otherwise I wouldn't be complaining
about it so you know that's where I
could understand so I need to make an
appointment to talk to him further more
about it and see what steps we need to
take to get this fixed and taken care of
that's clearly you know needs something
needs to happen like something needs to
happen I'm not gonna just affect my god
will happen when it happens like that's
just not any answer for me so anyways
[Music]
we talked about you know comments you
know that are made to me in the past
would have caused a bench you know
because Benji is my my disorder like a
high dish at times you don't with that
comment her saying about my bottom
stomach being cut off you know I could
have totally taken that and took it in a
negative way first of all and then let
it lead me to a binge because that's how
I that's how I've worked my life for so
long and I didn't do that and my
counselor said well do you think that
she deliberately set it to like hurt you
and I said honestly I don't think so I
don't think it was that she meant to say
it in a hurtful way I think she was just
pointing it out but it's still of course
it did trigger me and I did steam but I
chose to say you know that you know I
can just walk into a doctor's office and
demand them to cut my lower stomach off
because if I could everybody would you
know there are things steps that you
have to take to have the skin removed
and I'm nowhere close to that yet like I
would never want my skin taken off right
now no I wouldn't because I'm not at
that point in my journey that I would
even want that yet
so for me no I I wouldn't want that but
you know I could have totally taken that
in a negative draaga Tory way I could
have totally allowed me allowed it to
cause me to binge to throw the towel and
to say forget it you know one of the
most important people my mom you know
you know she you know gripes at me for
being big Greg's a baking-soda Greg sent
me for not being healthy but then when I
do become healthier and I haven't drink
soda and I've done all these things to
better myself and you're still griping
about things and picking out like
physical things that I can't control I
can't control my stomach and I you know
I can only do what I can do to help
better myself but I can't change these
physical aspects of my body because I
don't like them I have to embrace them
right now because it's part of what I'm
going through and my body eventually
before they ever get better and why
because they are stretched out and you
know they are what they are right now I
can't do you think I enjoy having a you
need stomach do you think that I enjoy
having a you know
muffin top stomach where you know you
can see it through my shirts and stuff
no but I can't help it all I can do is
just work towards the change of it and
do what I can and that's all I can do
but to you know make me feel bad about
myself in the situation that I had
that's not very helpful either but I
chose to not take it personal even
though it was personally I chose to take
it as a learning experience like okay
you know what
not everybody is going to say what I
want to hear and I can't allow my
journey to be affected by that because
life is gonna just throw things at you
left and right when you least expect it
and it's gonna be how you handle it is
how the whole outcomes gonna happen and
I chose to not allow it to hit me in a
negative way because I could have and it
could have gotten very very ugly
let me run in and go get all these Red
Bull and then I'll be right back oh look
at this
look at this mess
this is one of the ones that I got from
Dollar Tree
all right we need to hurry because I
don't want to be late all these
employment
anyhoo I am on my way home now and then
like I said all he is gonna leave cuz he
needs to run incoming take care of this
business so me the babies are gonna be
at least my 3 333 315
I'm starting to get skies are just
but anyways I'm gonna go home beat the
babies I'm sure they're hungry and need
to eat I apologize if the camera shakes
or if it makes a weird clunking noise I
don't know why it's doing that
you guys are on my mount and it
shouldn't be doing that but the other
day I was listening and you could hear
it I was in the world is it do me so I
apologize to you guys if you guys are
hearing it I know if I'm hearing it
probably hope is not getting too
annoying I will play with it and see why
it's we are driving in this to the long
really quick and we're picking out my
medicine right now so I have some
refills that I had to pick up because
I'm like out of all my meds so we are
doing that right now but I just wanted
to check in with you guys and say no it
is so black and dreary out today and
look at this
you guys I can't stop picking at it and
now I have like totally Bruce to my face
it's bad I'm so bad when it comes to
like Jets I can't stop like I have to
pick them and pick my victim until I get
it my two little ones have been
absolutely miserably crying cranky one
of them is out finally thank God she
desperately needed a nap but I haven't
really logged much because there hasn't
been a whole lot to vlog because the
kids have just been so cranky and crying
so I'm just like I am pointing to I'm
going to vlog this one but I hope you
guys are having a great Tuesday I did
not get a Tuesday corner craft up I'm
gonna just on Tuesdays when I have a
crash put together then I'll post them
up on Tuesdays but I'm not gonna commit
to them 100% for every Tuesday and the
only reason why is because it's life is
starting to get just a little bit more
busier with you know the business and
stuff happening and things like that so
I obviously just trying to like balance
all of my time and stuff not saying I
won't make DIYs and stuff of course I
will because I love doing them but okay
don't pull your hair but at the same
time it's really hard to like 100%
like commit to doing them every Tuesday
because there's just some weeks that I
just did not clearly have time to just
like sit and do it but so I didn't do
one today I didn't I'm sorry I didn't
post one today but I will hope to get
one up it's coming Tuesday I also wanted
to remind you guys to continue to keep
getting your knees and for the drawing
for January's giveaway that will be done
on December 23rd I will be live by p.m.
to do the name draw but I need to
continue to have names come in so drop
your name in the comments below if you
want to be put into the drawing if
you've already put your name in don't
worry about it I already have all the
names that have been put in so far but
if you have not told me to actually get
to it put your name in so that way I can
make sure to get everybody's names added
other than that I apologize for all of
the wreath lovers that I am supposed to
get these wreaths out because of the MRI
yesterday I clearly did not feel good I
did not have a chance to get to the post
office and then today I went to go and
do it and it was gonna be a 45-minute
wait just to be able to Mel him off so I
was going to come back but then it
started pouring rain and the babies were
screaming and crying I didn't want to
take him out at that time
and so I did not get a chance I'm so
sorry to get him out today but I will
shoot to try and do them hopefully
tomorrow tomorrow
Ali has option so I will be home with
the kids tomorrow but if he gets home in
time which he should should I'm not
gonna say you will he should be home in
time that we can get those sent out
tomorrow to everybody but they
definitely want to get those out to you
guys ASAP I am so so so so sorry that it
just seems like I am lagging on this
whole shipping thing I think it's so far
but I will check in with you guys
tonight I think I'm gonna do some
comment readings tonight I love doing
those they're so fun so I probably will
do that tonight at some point and I
think I might do a mask tonight because
my face is so broken out so anyways I
hope you guys are again having a great
day I am NOT going to go anywhere
tomorrow like I'm just literally gonna
stay home all day tomorrow
I we have nothing to do nowhere to go I
will pick Maya up from school and take
him to school and that's clearly just
because I don't want him walking in the
rain that would just not be a smart
thing so I told him that I'm like okay
I'm telling you now
do not walk home today mr. Maya elmire
mr. Maya decided that he forgot which is
fine accidents happen but he completely
forgot he was not supposed to walk home
today because it's raining and here
comes my son walk with him like my
why did you walk he's like Oh mom I'm
like oh okay I'm like well I just don't
want you walking because it's nasty you
know when I don't want you getting sick
more than you already are I'm like I'm
trying to get you better
he's like I'm sorry so I just told him
like no more walking for the week like I
really this whole week is going to be
nasty so I just told him I'm like no you
know walking to school you're not
walking home from school you're doing
nothing because I am NOT gonna have you
getting more sick by walking back and
forth so I will take him in the morning
and then Ollie most of the time all he's
home in time but if he's not then I'll
just throw the babies in the car roll
equipment go pick him up but if all he's
home then I only have to take the babies
out one time tomorrow and then we're
just gonna stay inside the rest of the
day because I mean like I said it is
supposed to be nasty tomorrow and
tonight when we were driving I literally
could not see like I was having such a
hard time scene it was dangerous and so
all it was like honey you are like
driving all over this way I'm like yeah
Gazi so uh yeah I am I am NOT one that
needs to be out driving in really nasty
weather because I ami just a medium city
no I really can't so it is a safe call
for Amy to stay home when it's in these
nasty weather days so M plus it was dark
which doesn't help the situation and so
yeah I just I'm not I just don't feel
comfortable going out which like I said
there's really we have nothing that we
need to go out for tomorrow
so I am pretty sure that I am just
Thayne and all day tomorrow which will
be nice and if jeremiah still has loose
bowels he may be staying home too
because I will not send him to school if
he's got diarrhea like it's just not
gonna happen
I wouldn't would never do that to me of
my kids so we'll see how he's feeling
but I really don't want him to miss if I
can help it I'm really trying with all
my heart to get through these next
couple of weeks since Christmas break or
winter break whatever you want to call
it is right around the corner I think
they start on the 19th and then they're
out until January 6 but I want to say
it's like a long break so for all it's
worth I really want to just see him make
it through at least the rest of this
week just a little bit ago no I don't
know what brought it up to me but you
know it's so sometimes sad when you see
friendships that you've had for so long
diminishing due to lifestyle changes if
that makes any sense and you know I know
that friendships are seasonal sometimes
and and that's okay you know I grew up
with kids that you know were in
different sports and one thing that was
brought to my attention not too long ago
was you know remember how we had
seasonal family friends you know
baseball friends football friends
softball friends so on and that's so
true but you then have these one friends
that are like your lifetime friends that
you know they're not resulted around a
sport they're not resulted around any of
that it's just flat they're your they're
your friends but as life goes by and you
know
things are changing in their life and
your life and you know things just
aren't the same anymore it's so sad
sometimes to just see those friendships
that you once had that we're so close
just go away you know and I'm seeing one
of those relationships kind of
diminishing a little bit and it's you
know it's kind of sad it's you know it's
not a friendship that I would ever have
imagined to really went through that
kind of a change but I guess you know
you can't sit there and say never
because it clearly can happen and you
know again life throws different odd
balls towards everybody and you know
lifestyles take different friendships
and things like that but it was just so
weird like thinking about it today just
like you know what would life be like
without certain people in your life due
to changes of lifestyle you know and
sometimes I ask myself like where is my
life headed like what I'm so focused on
my family and my health and my life and
my youtube channel and my friendships
that I have gotten from you guys you
know and now my business that I'm
opening up and it's like sometimes you
know you have to water a relationship to
have it blossom and if you're both not
watering that relationship then clearly
it's just not gonna go anywhere
maybe one side but it's not gonna grow
the way that you need it to and you know
I was thinking about that today like how
much I really put in two efforts of you
know relationships and friendships and
some I put a lot of effort others I
don't some of the ones that I don't I
should
b-because those her the relationships
that clearly probably would make more of
a difference this is one no I don't know
if I like I think it's gonna bug the
crap out of me but I don't have time to
change it cause my husband's gonna be
like soon Amy are you almost done
is that you go take a shower but yeah it
just you know it's kind of just thinking
about it sometimes it's just kind of sad
you know when you see those
relationships that you once were really
close to somebody just changing over
dynamics you know of just life in
general and not you know it's nothing
you're doing wrong it's nothing that the
other person is doing wrong it's just
life takes a different route and that's
kind of where I think you know some of
my relationships are going you know and
and it's okay but it doesn't mean that
it's not sometimes a little sad you know
but like this okay so I just hate to
stop doing my notes halfway through I
can't even put the sparkles on it
because uh uh I get so and I don't have
time to do it tonight because it's
getting way too late the kids are going
to need to go to bed like well soon so
what I'm gonna do is I will put it right
there I will do my nails tomorrow but I
will catch it on video for you guys the
whole thing so that we guys can see
everything because just it's not this
isn't the way that I wanted to have my
notes turn out so I will redo them
tomorrow but uh anyways I am sorry that
double on floppy fit-up if you're a babe
but I hope you guys are enjoying anywho
uh tomorrow like I said I'm gonna be
home with the kids all day I don't know
for sure if I'm taking mine at school it
just depends on how his stomach is
feeling so we'll see how he's feeling in
the morning but either way I will no
matter what as always let y'all know how
I'm doing and how the cranky children I
do it by anyways yeah see man
fail I might as well not even people's
ones because I'm gonna end up drilling
all this crap off tomorrow anyway so
might as well save half me half me the
job save me some of the job but anyways
I hope you guys enjoy today I hope you
guys had a wonderful wonderful day it
was nasty nasty here as you always I am
hoping tomorrow to get to the post
office where it's not you know a
two-hour wait almost two you know Mel
something and other than that I will see
you guys in the morning I will talk to
you then sweet dreams you guys bye
